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Wednesday, December 6, 2017

If Thigh Gap and Hip Dip Weren't Enough, Now Women Are Supposed to Worry About Having 'Arm Vaginas'

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I’m a woman with three vaginas. You probably are too. Let’s check: Go to a mirror, take off your top, and see if there is any skin where your inner arm meets your upper body.

If there is—and there should be, because you are a human female—then you have “arm vagina.” We can thank Jennifer Lawrence for coining this phrase in 2014. “I know I have armpit fat,” she confessed on the red carpet at that year’s SAG awards. “It’s okay… it’s armpit vaginas, it’s awful!”

Lawrence’s blithe self-deprecation served as the birth canal for a butterfly effect, spiraling women into despair and body dysmorphia. One celebrity stylist has even declared that this apparently unsightly and completely natural fold of skin is among her female clients’ greatest insecurities.

Some have even turned to cosmetic surgery. A plastic surgeon named Hagen Schumacher (because of course his name is Hagen Schumacher) told a UK newspaper that patients seek “correction of this laxity.”

Laxity? First of all, let’s not put the word “laxity” near the word vagina. That’s never good. Second, Dr. Schumacher, how can our arms move up and down if there is not a little bit of “give” in the area?

If you’re like me, you didn’t even know you had arm vaginas. I personally have always thought one set of lady parts down below was enough, although it would have been nice to have a back-up vagina during and after childbirth. Now when I think of how handy my armpits are for holding stuff while my arms and hands are otherwise occupied, I’ll congratulate myself on doing my Kegels.

Ladies? Do we really not have enough going on, what with muffin tops, hip dips, thigh gap, underboob, and side boob that we needed to hit ourselves with arm vagina?

I’m not sure I even understand the dis. Are we now supposed to loathe our body parts for merely existing? Because arm vaginas don’t necessarily have to do with excess fat. There’s an actual muscle underlying—or in some cases entirely comprising—your arm vagina. It’s called the “teres minor.” It flexes. So if you’re someone who does a few planks now and then, don’t be surprised when someone says, “Whoa, have you been working out? Your upper body’s looking…vaginal!”

And is calling something a vagina an insult? My real vagina has come in pretty handy and has produced more things than my armpits ever have. I have a pretty deep cleft in my chin, and someone once told me it looked like a vagina chin. I took it as a compliment but only after asking him to call it “yonic.”

Look, naming things is powerful. It can lead to solutions. For example, “Hey dude, when you spread your legs on the train, pretending that your bald-and-wrinklies deserve their own seat, that’s called manspreading.”

But when you name something for which there is no solution (even if you’re the beloved, irreverent J. Law), you’re not helping. You’re not helping women at large when you diminish us into body parts—parts which invariably fall short of anatomically impossible standards.

There’s a culinary movement called “nose to tail” in which folks pride themselves on consuming all parts of a pig. I feel like women have created our own nose to tail movement, except rather than using all our parts, we abuse them—making ourselves sexist pigs in the process.

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We’ve spent so much energy trying to keep predators and lawmakers out of the business of messing with our vaginas that the last thing we should be doing is identifying more of them on our bodies and attacking them ourselves.

And I’m sorry if I was the one who introduced you to the notion of arm vaginas. At least we aren’t expected to wax them.

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Tuesday, December 5, 2017

How to Tell If You’re an Empath—Plus 3 Self-Care Habits You Need If You Are

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If you’ve ever felt happy for a newly promoted BFF or sad for a loved one who suffered a loss, you’ve been empathetic. But some people, called empaths, really feel those emotions. “Being empathetic is when your heart goes out to somebody when they feel joy or sadness,” explains Judith Orloff, MD, psychiatrist and author of The Empath’s Survival Guide. “But being an empath means you can actually feel their happiness or anxiety in your own body.” Best described as “emotional sponges,” empaths don’t have the usual defenses or filters as other people, so they feel everything.

There’s no clinical diagnosis for empaths. Dr. Orloff uses a self-assessment quiz consisting of 20 questions that can help people determine whether they fit the bill.

The quiz asks questions like:

Have you been labeled “overly sensitive” or introverted your entire life?
Do you prefer to take your own car to places so you can leave early if you need to?
Do you prefer one-on-one interactions and small groups to large gatherings?

If you answer yes to the majority of the queries, it’s likely you have strong empath tendencies.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Dr. Orloff, who is an empath and a psychiatrist (a tough combo!), says her ability to take on others’ emotions actually makes her a better therapist: “I’m able to tap into my gifts of intuition, depth of connection, and compassion to be really present with someone,” she tells Health.

Of course, absorbing others’ emotions is also taxing. “The key skill for an empath is to learn how to not take on the stress of others,” says Dr. Orloff. Here, she offers three simple self-care habits that can help you stay mentally healthy while you navigate your relationships as an empath.

Set limits

We all know people who drain us emotionally, whether they’re narcissists or psychic vampires. But empaths are especially affected by strong personalities, so it’s important to set limits.

The next time a friend is venting to you, kindly lay down some ground rules: “I suggest people do a five-minute phone call if their friend is in a ‘Poor me!' mode,” says Dr. Orloff. “Lovingly tell them that you are happy to help them with solutions if they want that, but you will have to put a five-minute limit on a conversation if they’re going to continue venting. Letting them go on and on will destroy an empath.”

If your friend balks at the time cap, explain that you are trying to be supportive while also practicing necessary self care.

Make your home a sanctuary

Since empaths tend to be sensitive to crowds and loud noises, it’s easy for them to get overwhelmed when they’re out and about. Making your home a safe haven can help you decompress.

“Be sure to have a sacred place at home where you can take deep breaths, calm down, and connect to yourself,” encourages Dr. Orloff. “Being alone can replenish an empath.” Candles, flowers, and soft music can also help turn your living space into the sanctuary it needs to be if you’re an empath who gets overstimulated during the day.

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Spend time in nature

According to Dr. Orloff, empaths love the outdoors. “Nature has so much positive energy that when empaths are around it, they start to feel better.” Make it a point to spend time in the woods or a park regularly–as opposed to a busy city.

Water is also healing for empaths, adds Dr. Orloff. “They get very replenished in a bath, shower, or hot springs,” she says. “Besides just cleaning off dirt, water cleanses your energy fields so you feel like a different person afterwards.”

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Monday, December 4, 2017

The Ladies of SNL Welcome You 'to Hell' with Anti-Sexual Harassment Music Video

Friday, December 1, 2017

Doctors Unsure if They Should Save Patient with 'Do Not Resuscitate' Tattoo

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This article originally appeared on People.com.

Emergency room doctors faced a confusing ethical dilemma when an unconscious man was wheeled into a University of Miami hospital with a “Do Not Resuscitate” tattoo.

The 70-year-old man, who was inebriated when he arrived, had a history of lung and heart diseases. Unable to reach his family as his heart pressure dropped, the medical staff started to attempt to revive him despite his tattoo, according to a case study in the New England Journal of Medicine.

“We initially decided not to honor the tattoo, invoking the principle of not choosing an irreversible path when faced with uncertainty,” wrote Drs. Gregory E. Holt, Bianca Sarmento, Daniel Kett and Kenneth W. Goodman. “This decision left us conflicted owing to the patient’s extraordinary effort to make his presumed advance directive known; therefore, an ethics consultation was requested.”

But after going over his case, ethics consultants told the doctors that they should follow the orders on his tattoo, which included what was presumably his signature.

“They suggested that it was most reasonable to infer that the tattoo expressed an authentic preference, that what might be seen as caution could also be seen as standing on ceremony, and that the law is sometimes not nimble enough to support patient-centered care and respect for patients’ best interests,” the doctors write.

The doctors stopped his care, and the man died later that night. But they were still concerned that the tattoo is not a legally binding contract like a true, signed Do Not Resuscitate order, and that the tattoo might just be a joke, or as the doctors put it, “permanent reminders of regretted decisions made while the person was intoxicated.”

Thankfully, their decision not to continue care was confirmed as correct when they found the patient’s written Do Not Resuscitate order.

“Despite the well-known difficulties that patients have in making their end-of-life wishes known, this case report neither supports nor opposes the use of tattoos to express end-of-life wishes when the person is incapacitated,” the doctors write.

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When to See December's Cold Moon, Which Is Also a Supermoon

This article originally appeared on TravelAndLeisure.com.

Have you ever seen a Supermoon rise above the eastern horizon at dusk? It’s one of the most spectacular natural wonders of all, and it will happen for the only time in 2017 at dusk on Sunday, December 3.

When our natural satellite rises fully illuminated in December it’s usually referred to as the Cold Moon. The falling temperatures in the northern hemisphere can make this full moon a challenge to observe, but this year it will be worth the effort.

A full moon occurs every month (once every 27.3 days, to be exact) when it’s on the opposite side of Earth as the sun, but some are more special than others. The moon orbits Earth in an elliptical path, so it has a furthest point (called lunar apogee, which occurred in June) and a closest point (perigee). It’s the latter that happens close to December 3, resulting in a disc that will look slightly larger than usual as it rises: also known as a Supermoon.

When is the Cold Moon in December?

The last full moon of 2017 will occur at precisely 15:47 Universal Time (UTC). At that exact time Earth will be directly between the sun and moon. That’s 10:47 Eastern Standard Time (EST) in the United States, and even earlier in the day heading west. However, to catch a glimpse of the beautifully pale orange Cold Moon rising, all you need to do — wherever you are — is to look east at dusk as the sun sets in the west.

Why is it called the Cold Moon?

December’s Full Moon has in the past been called the Cold Moon, and sometimes the Frost Moon, by Native American tribes for rather obvious reasons: It’s the onset of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. The lengthening nights and its timing just before the winter solstice have also led it to be called the Full Long Nights Moon.

When is the next Full Moon?

The next New Moon is on Monday, December 18, so look out for a beautiful Crescent Moon for a few days afterwards. However, precisely 27.3 days after the Cold Moon comes the next Full Moon on Tuesday, January 2, 2018. Known as the Full Wolf Moon by some Native American tribes, it’s also a Supermoon. In fact, the Full Wolf Moon is actually even closer to Earth than the Cold Moon, so it should appear even larger. It should be a fine sight to ring in the new year.

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